When you are both calm, tell him it is a game and practice giving a pretend request like "Please go to bed. If he doesn't do what you ask the first time, say, "I can see you're not ready to do it right now, you don't earn a point right now, but we'll try again later. If the child then turns around after you've said that and does what you asked, then praise her effusively, but don't give her a point. You want to get the child used to doing what you ask on the first try.
The key is practice and role play. Give him a reward point for doing a successful pretend. Show him the rewards he can earn by doing what you ask right away without complaint. Rewards can be anything a child really wants, and don't always cost money. Maybe they get an extra story at bedtime or get to go shopping with mom. Don't foster greater disobedience by giving it a lot of attention. If you focus on their defiance, it will actually increase.
When you stop giving attention to annoying behavior, there's nothing in it for the child. When you first start doing it, your child may actually throw even more tantrums -- because they're upset that their usual way of getting what they want isn't working.
Eventually they will see that it doesn't work anymore. Stay calm yourself and your child will calm down faster. Don't add punishment if the child complains. If they can't or won't do time out, take away a toy or privilege for a specified time. Longer and harsher punishment doesn't make it more effective.
Ideally, you should be praising your child's behavior 90 percent of the time and punishing only 10 percent of the time. Notice your child's good behavior and give it positive attention. They will do more of it. Change your behavior and your child will change theirs! The Following photos will be the cause of your childs rebellion. Total views 3, On Slideshare 0. What parents can do When you have a chronically disobedient child, examine the possible sources of his inner turmoil and rebelliousness.
If this has been a persistent pattern that has continued into middle childhood, closely evaluate your own family situation: How much respect do your family members show for one another? Are disagreements resolved through rational discussion, or do people regularly argue or resort to violence? What is your usual style of relating to your child, and what forms does discipline usually take?
Do you and your child have very different personalities and ways of getting along in the world that cause friction between you? If there is a persistent, long-standing pattern of disrespect of authority both at school and at home.
If the patterns of disobedience continue in spite of your best efforts to encourage your child to communicate his negative feelings. If a child shows signs of generalized unhappiness -- perhaps talking of feeling blue, unliked, friendless, or even suicidal. If your family has developed a pattern of responding to disagreements with physical or emotional abuse. If you or your spouse or child use alcohol or other drugs to feel better or cope with stress.
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances. Follow Us. Back to Top. Young Adult. How our children learn to respect us and submit to us is how they will learn to submit to God. By the time they leave our homes, they should shift the authority they recognized in us as parents to God.
Do you still have to obey your parents? This is where it helps to understand that parents are only a temporary stand-in for God. They are like the training wheels for learning how to obey God. But the training wheels were never the point. Riding the bike was. The easiest way to see this is to watch the ways it goes wrong. For instance, we have adult couples in our church on the mission field whose Christian parents tried to forbid them from going, even when they knew God was telling them to go.
Give them some time to think about what you have said. What you say may cause them to change their minds. If it doesn't, don't talk about it anymore. If you keep talking, you will only frustrate yourself and cause your parents to become angry. Once you understand what your parents want, do what they tell you to do.
If you should occasionally disobey your parents, don't lie about it. Lying will only make things worse. Accept your punishment. Don't be angry with them; remember, it was you who disobeyed. When you obey your parents, you will please them and you will be doing what is best for yourself.
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